Free parks


Going to have to word this carefully for fear of getting stabbed up or strangled with a McDonald’s straw by the locals of Carlton close park.

Is it a good park? God yes! It’s a great park that the kids loved. Will we go again? Will we fuck!

Spotted it on the way to a country park (will review that tomorrow) so decided to pop in on the way back after taking a detour via the M25 thanks to the douche husbands navigational skills!

Glad my husband was with me if I’m honest. Although he’s pretty useless in regards to defense but i reckon I’ve got the strength to pick him up and throw it at anyone trying to kill us.


Plenty of parking here and we didn’t see any restrictions. This park is in the middle of an estate and is a bit hairy at times to squeeze past all the parked cars (but I’m one of those who other drivers scream “you can get a bus through there knobhead”)

This park is busy and you can see why. Lots of kids playing about with a few older kids knocking about and a few dodgy people walking past. This is obviously an area of trust as there weren’t many parents knocking about….

Situated on a big field with a nice goal to play football. It’s a huge timber frame with plenty for all ages. Big twisty, spiral slide which the kids loved flying down and god do they fly! Just watch out for the copious amounts of empty McDonald’s happy meal containers at the bottom…to be fair it probably softens the fall at the end.


Sand pit? Yep with another smaller toddler slide but don’t be fooled they’ll fly off that faster than the yellow stickers in the discount isle of Tesco’s on a Sunday night. Kids loved it!

There’s swings for all ages and a springy face twatter and an obstacle course too. It really is a nicely equip park (funded by a national lottery grant)

One thing i would say is it smelt really nice!! Oddly of clean washing….figured out this was because some little scoundrel had emptied a bottle of comfort in the roundabout. Wont be using that then. I guess it could have been a worse substance!

Got a great photo of the park sign. Lovely and descriptive addition thank you to the mini Shakespeare who added that little snippet.


All sounds good right? Reason we won’t go back….It’s disgustingly filthy! Not just a bit but absolutely covered in rubbish. Mainly McDonalds ( Food envy too) It’s a shame because this park looks like a great local community park but for us we’ll leave it to them. I definitely wouldn’t go back alone with the kids. If only they could have a little more care for such a nice park.

Carlton close stats: 

Distance from Bicester: 25mins
Sat nav: Carlton Cl, Aylesbury HP19 9HR To Load Navigation click Address 
Wheelchair friendly: yes
Equipment upkeep: 8/10
Cleanliness: 0/10
Facilities: 6/10 I reckon there’s a McDonald’s close by they’ll have toilets too
Age range: All ages
Safety: 4/10 due to rubbish
Fun factor: 8/10
Dog friendly: No but i don’t think many pay attention to the sign anyway.


I’ve worded this as nicely as I could/ was told to by the husband because i didn’t want a repeat of Souldern. I think the locals for this park might be a tad scarier if i’m honest. My advice? Sack this off and go to one of the other better parks I’ve reviewed not only because of the mess but Aylesbury is a bitch to drive to. Soooo much traffic!

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