Country parks


Really crap drive felt like forever to get to Aldenham Country park, then when we did it was fairly poor as far as country parks go overpriced and in poor condition. The end…….hahah yeah right!

I’m going to try and make this quick and painless unlike the visit! I personally think they could do a lot better. I wasn’t expecting to fork out as much as we did so if you do go. Take money you’ll need it!

Free bits 

I’ll start off with the free bits….shouldn’t take long. you’ll notice whats free here its the bits that have been left to rot and decay! Its the parks by the kiosk (they do sell a mean cheese and onion pasty though) first impressions. pretty cool nice toddler area with lots of equipment slides swings etc….only half fenced in because the other half of the fence has fallen down and lay draped on the floor! opposite this in the wooded area you have an amazing looking balancing course…..balancing!!! you’d have to be David fucking Blane to hover over that bastard! most of the ropes are broken. you cant balance don’t bother!


Never mind we’ll go to the little farm……will we fuck! £5 per adult and £4.50 per child just to get gobbed on by a goat! erhhh no thanks ive seen better kids farms in Michael Jackson’s back garden thanks!

We’ll go for a walk instead…..back off over the other side to find the cool looking park we spotted on the way in. Toilets are a bit run down and that’s me being polite but then i guess they are free so they don’t give a shit (pun intended) right next to the toilets after you manage to stop the kids jumping on the huge cesspit cover is the woodland adventure. Now were getting somewhere. Oh no wait its piss poor version of a go ape (private only hire though) we didn’t go any further because of the severe lack of signage for anything that wasn’t an extra charge.

More money 

Lets try the big play park now this looks cool! oh no wait you have to fucking pay for this too!!! devious twats too they put the best play park in plain sight so that once you’ve said no to everything else you have no choice but to pay for this! £3 per child! now the park is a nice park but because i’ve been pissed off about not doing my research properly before coming here and realising i forgot to bring the lube for when they fuck you over i didn’t fully appreciate it. Oh and the water play section wasn’t working!

Perfect for disabled children 

Now i’m going to climb down off my high horse for just a moment and say how amazingly kitted out Aldenham Country park is for children with disabilities! hands sown the best I’ve seen. even the zip wire is accessible for disabled kids! they run SEND sessions and even have a separate area for children with SENDS so i would highly recommend this place for anyone with children that fall under that category. do a little research first though because i’m not massively in the know about whats good and whats not.

Pony rides 

Park played in, sand in cracks from the sand pit, scuffed knees from rolling down the telly Tubby house.Time to check out the pony rides! theses looked good Elliot loves riding cows (he refuses to call them ponies) we didn’t mind paying a bit for a couple of walks in a loop…….hang on yes we fucking do!! £15 for 15mins!!! off you fuck. Now i expect to pay that in a stables not in a flipping country park! Jesus for £10 id put a saddle on my back and do pony rides for half hour!

Winne the pooh 

Right that’s it lets go find this bloody Winnie the pooh walk ffs. Fully expecting to have to pay for this shit too! well i’ll be damned it was free!!! soon figured out why. Although cute and a great concept like everything for free in that place it was in need for updating/fixing! If your kids love Winnie the pooh they will adore this though! i can imagine its going to become even more popular after the new Christopher robin films released.

We got round this and decided to try a walk around the lake……that’s until we came across the group of youths blocking the path while sitting there, enticing the cygnets over then spitting at them. Fuck this we’d had enough. Back in the car we went oh don’t forget the £4.50 for parking either!

Aldenham country park stats

Distance from Bicester: 1hr 9 mins (feels like an eternity)
Sat nav: Aldenham Country park, Aldenham Rd, Elstree, Radlett, WD63BA
Wheelchair friendly: Yes
Equipment upkeep: 4/10 needs vast improvement
Cleanliness: 8/10
Facilities: 10/10
Age range: All ages
Safety: 6/10
Fun factor: 2/10 for us 8/10 for the kids
Dog friendly: In parts


Is this place good? maybe for locals? yes definitely for send children, Not for us though. We certainly wont be returning. Maybe we’ve been spoilt with our more recent country park who knows. Again please remember this is my Opinion and i can imagine lots of people love this place. Maybe you will too, I will also add that the kids absolutely loved this place so it cant have been that bad!

You can find more info in their website HERE
For better country parks check HERE 

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