Country parkswoodlands


We’ve been here before a fair few years ago way before the second born (Satan) arrived. We really enjoyed it then and we’ve been meaning to head back to Irchester country park. So when my childless friend took a couple of days off work to come and join us on an outing (haha she had no idea what she was letting herself into) I decided to visit here again.

Arrived in one piece (just about) had to wipe Shelly’s seat clean afterwards don’t think my driving agreed with her.

Car parking 

You can park at the 1st car park near the entrance if you want to avoid the play area or you can do what we did and park in the middle of a field (it was busy) near to the facilities. Parking for 4 hours was £3 then £5 for over 4. Don’t bloody moan its worth it. You could park on the roadside like some stingy shits but I happily paid toward the upkeep.

Hot beverage 

We started off with a hot drink..well the adults not the kids. Shelly was tired (she’ll know true tiredness if she has kids) she was probably up all night being a skank 😉 the cafe was shut as it was too early but we went to the big truck next door. Fairly big queue going at snail pace probably because the people working their were kids! Borderline child labour? They were nice lads though and nice to see them working rather than smoking crack outside Sainsbury’s and riding bike down the isles.

If you park here you won’t be able to escape the play area without going in first unless you have Jedi powers over you kids (teach me) we decided to get the park out of the way early to save the eternal whining until they broke me and got their own way anyway!

Great play park 

The I park is shit hot! It’s big and it rammed with fun. There will be some thing for all kids! I’m not going to list everything because i can’t be arsed it’d take too long it has a sand pit which we avoided because some little shits were throwing it in each others eyes and Elliot would have hulked out and destroyed all of the children in all of the park. There was a huge rope snake swingy thing which Clark didn’t leave the whole time! And possibly the biggest springy face twatter I’ve ever seen…It was awesome!!

It was time for mission bribery aka get the kids out of the park. I’d stocked the bag up with enough sugar to satisfy a crack whore on a come down. They soon shifted when they heard the rustle of a Haribo packet!

Into the woods 

Off we headed into the woods. We went under a tree top adventure thing and some some guy fail at the zip wire course and get stuck in the middle while waiting for the staff to come and help him. We stood and laughed at him for a bit while the kids heckled him.

Moving swiftly on the kids and Shelly really started to get into the swing of things, climbing, running, face planting etc we did notice that there was a Halloween train trail that we must have missed but the kids loved following it and finding the next clues anyway this kept them moving too which was great!

Great for bikes 

If you’re kids like their bike riding and you can fit it in the car take them. This place is perfect for bikes (No so much scooters though) they can stick to the main path or go off road into the trees and zoom up and down all the ramps etc. My kids were running up and down all the slope like mad men and sliding down the steep bit like natural mud slides it was so nice to see. Don’t put the kids in their best jojo or Jules outfits they’ll end up fucked and you’ll have to re mortgage to replace them.

Wooden sculptures 

The whole way round Irchester country park there are lovely wooden sculptures for them to discover. The best bit has to be the dinosaur bones area. They can climb all over the dino bones and get in the eggs too. The kids loved this part the most! It got a little bit hairy when another kid tried to turf Elliot out of an egg but I managed to defuse the situation with the promise of a mini sausage.

The kids were playing with some others then I heard this almighty slap which was instantly followed by Clarks screams. Some Draco Malfoy looking mother fucker! The little twat had Twatted him with a stick. I rather loudly asked him what happened in the hope that his mum who was too busy yapping away with her possy of other mums might hear. She eventually heard and got Draco to shout a half arsed sorry from a distance. I shot her a look of if he touches my child again I will fuck you up. We have them some space to shit off before we proceeded.

More exploring

We did some more exploring, den building and wooden figure hunting then headed back toward the car park. Before we headed off we treated the kids to a muffin (yep more sugar) £1.80!!! I mean it was nice but I could have gotten a 4 pack from Tesco for a quid! Take the tip and take a picnic.

If you go to Irchester country park on a Sunday the train museum is also open which Clark loved last time. It’s definitely worth the visit especially if you have train mad kids.

Irchester country park stats: 

Distance from Bicester: 1 hour
Sat nav: Irchester country park, Gipsy Ln, Little Irchester, Irchester, Wellingborough NN29 7DL
Wheelchair friendly: yes
Equipment upkeep: 8/10
Cleanliness: 9/10
Facilities: 10/10
Age range: All ages
Safety: 5/10 for all the right reasons though
Fun factor: 10/10
Dog friendly: Yes they’ll love it too.


Irchester country park has managed to keep my kids walking the longest without moaning (minus Elliots shit fits which happen everywhere) I think it helped having Shelly there to play eye spy with Clark for 2 hours solid though. You’ll notice there aren’t any bins in the woods take your shit home!! And pick up the dog crap too. Irchester country park really is beautiful lets keep it that way. Its well worth the visit and on the plus side its super close to Stanwick lakes too which has by far the best free play park we’ve ever been too!

Check out more country parks HERE 

If you’d like to see their website you can find it HERE

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