Free parks


New, quirky, fun and quiet are just a few words I can use to describe Little Milton park.

I was given the tip about this place the other day (thank you) and today we got to try it out. Glad we did too. Even the husband liked this one and he’s as forgiving as a brick tied to a black sack of kittens in a pond!

After missing the turning a few times because i’m worse than Dory trying to find her parents! We go there. Plenty of parking. However not sure how it’ll work during the week as I think the parking is for the shop and pre school.

Bit of a bugger to find 

It’s behind the building by the way and not clearly visible from the road.

Rounded the corner and realised that this park normally had a cafe! Not sure on the times yet but it was shut today (Sunday which was expected) its looks like a fairly nice small cafe and looked like it had toilets too. #bonus

When you spot the park you get the instant wow factor. It’s bloody pretty all shiny and new. Best bit? It’s fenced in and fenced in good! No escape for the little gits!

Wow factor 

It had a lovely toddler frame which at first Elliot is yet fuck all attention to. Nope he wanted the big bastard. I can see why too! We’ll I’ll tell you why. It’s the first thing that Clark and daddy went on. Yep they always forget where they go he goes. Ah well daddy’s responsibility now. It’s a great frame. Your smells will want to go on it but you’ll need to go on with them if they’re really small otherwise they’ll fall through the gaps in the rope bridge and snap their spines. Floors soft enough though 🙂 nice wood chipping in this area.

Your kids can pretty much climb up any part of the big kids frame, up walls and even through windows! The slides faster than a fat kid eating a big Mac! Kids and husbeast loved flying off the end.

Some of the equipment

Zip wires fast. All the better for twatting the toddlers heads with. Haha great zip wire though. My favourite was the self spinning roundabout with little spaces in for the kids to sit in. Also perfect size for my arse! Husband spun me so fast I had to twat him in the shins as I span past to make him stop. I was so close to flying off! I didn’t want to break any of the new equipment under my weight if i landed on it. Its a great roundabout one that we haven’t seen before.

Talking of new things they had this odd swing thing. I genuinely don’t know what it’s purpose is we couldn’t figure it out. Maybe it’s a disabled access one? (If you know please share) kids still had a go though.

They had swings for babies, older kids and a cargo net swing. Had a little ship with a steering wheel and seats, balancing beams, a wobbly bridge (Clark made me hide under and pretend to be the troll) a fantastic 4 seater see saw so this way we could hold onto the kids and make sure they don’t come off face first and knock their front teeth out (we all know someone that’s done that) a nice sensory board thing which the kids never pay attention to. If there isn’t an element of danger they don’t care! Oh yeah and 2 springy face twatters though I’ll admit pretty cute ones at least.

Picnic perfect 

Shit loads of benches and spaces for a picnic, even has a nice sheltered area with seating for when it pisses down. Behind there are course for football, tennis etc one family were playing cricket the whole time we were there! Wish my kids could hold a bat without wanting to twat each other in the heads! There’s nice pathways throughout with planting which will look great once established. There’s also a huge field for them to play in if the parks not enough.

Little Milton Park stats: 

Distance from Bicester: 24mins
Sat nav: Thame Rd, Little Milton, Oxford OX44 7PZ Click Address for navigation 
Wheelchair friendly: Yes
Equipment upkeep: 10/10
Cleanliness: 9/10 would have been more if the selfish shits had used a bin!
Facilities: 10/10 has everything when it’s all open
Age range: All ages
Safety: 8/10 still have the pointless head smashing boulders!
Fun factor: 10/10
Dog friendly: No dogs allowed I’m afraid. (Back to stoke woods it is)


Will we go back? Hell yes! It stopped Elliot from being an arsehole for the while time we were there (Soon resumed normality once back in the car), its a Great park and unique with the added bonus of the facilities when they’re open. It was lovely and clean save a few fag butts from shit heads that don’t care about smoking round children (insert slow clap here) i would 100% recommend this park to all of you its lovely almost as  lovely as Croughton park  

You can see the Oxford Mails piece on the play park HERE

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