First weekday of the Easter holidays and we were bombarded with what can only be described as Monsoon style weather. The type where you need the wipers on full speed and you can still see fuck all. Limes Farm here we come
I hadn’t made any plans for Monday other than a morning session at ready 2 tumble (Great group if you’re in Bicester btw) Once we finished we were a bit stuck for what to do so as it was 11.30 i thought i’d take the boys out for lunch. I was racking my brains for where to go then a distant memory popped into my head. Limes Farm shop and tea rooms.
Table Booked At Limes Farm
Its been on my list for a while and it kept popping up on my Facebook feed. Convinced my friend and her boys to come too and after a quick phone call to book a table off we went totally blind with no idea what to expect. Just praying it wasn’t going to be as shit as the weather.
Limes Farm is only 20 mins away from where i live. I’m shocked i haven’t had anyone recommend this place to me. I now feel likes its my job to tell you all about it because bugger me its bloody great and that’s even in the monsoon with no waterproofs!
Parking was fine you pretty much rock up and park in a farm yard. When i say fine i’m still crap at parking so took me a couple of attempts not to take up 2 parking spaces. We parked directly opposite the tea room and the look through the window told me it was busy.
Unloaded the kids and put there coats on (At least i remembered theirs) And headed into the tea room with our friends. Opened the doors and was instantly greeted with a greasy smell of food but not the horrible greasy smell you get out the back of a kebab shop this was a get in my belly now greasy smell mmmmm.
Not only were we greeted with a lovely smell we were instantly approached by a member of staff that showed us to our table……on the Balcony!!! calm your tits not an outdoor balcony but a funky indoor one overlooking the downstairs. The kids were so happy… so was i, i love a good people watching session.
The lady told us to take a seat where ever we liked and that someone would be up to take our order when we were ready (love table service especially with a smile).
When our waitress came up she was lovely. She engaged with the kids and us adults. Not in the usual robotic fashion you get at lots of other places. This lady was either a good actress or genuinely gave a shit about what we said and she even laughed at my awkward jokes. She also offered us alternatives to the huge milkshakes we’d ordered for the kids. I think she might have seen Elliot and could tell he looked like a thrower. So close to the balcony she could probably see him tipping it over the heads of the unsuspecting customers below. Good call, We’ve been in less than 15 mins and she already had my kids sized up.
I ordered the kids a pizza and chips each, I ordered a jacket with cheese and bean and my friend ordered a coronation chicken wrap (I questioned our friendship when she ordered that shit). Food came out in good time in accordance with how busy they were.
I needed to scrape the tomatoes off the kids pizzas before they’d go near it because they’re fussy gits and i choosing my battles. My jacket was bloody massive! once id got through half of it i realised it was because i had 2 jackets on one plate. My friends wrap came with a shot of soup haha took us a while to figure out what the hell it was.
All the food and drink was enjoyed by all and in my opinion good value too. The kids behaved like they were partly human too which was a bonus. Little tip if you’re heading to Limes Farm with kids ask for the balcony. Just make sure they don’t stand on the bars it didn’t look as solid as i’d have liked.
We finished up and then headed off to pay and pick up an Easter egg hunt. Yep that’s right its not just a farm shop and tea rooms. Limes Farm is actually a farm too with real animals.
Yes it was pissing it down but thankfully the rain was warm which was just as well because i hadn’t packed my spack- a – Mac. Now if you’re going to go be more prepared than what i was. In self defense i had no idea what to expect. You will have no excuse after reading this. Its a farm dress appropriately not a hoody and trainers with the kids dressed in pale chinos and mustard cords. Welly boot the shit up to your eyeballs if its been raining.
Despite our lack of preparation, the fact it was monsooning down we had a brilliant time exploring. Please don’t come here expecting a bloody farm park then come away crying because your kids didn’t gt to bottle feed a lamb and play in the soft play. There aren’t any!
What you will find is a real farm yard and in some places covered in shit. Its brilliant no pretentious bollocks found here. Its simple and simply lovely. Whats even better its free! (Apart from the trails).
Kids headed off on the lookout for golden carrots (real carrots that looked like they had been attacked with a Prit Stick and glitter haha brilliant) we followed the map down to the ponds/lakes and lots of clues and views along the way.
Lots of decorations and effort had gone into this it was lovely. I was shocked at how nice it all was. It was quiet too which was no surprise considering the weather. Not many other lunatics had ventured out in this or if they had they had waterproofs. Everyone else was safe indoors sipping tea.
Turns out that Lime Farm is also a campsite that rents out Yurts too.
The boys were having a great time and soaked through searching for the carrots and looking at all the nicely decorated Easter trees.
We headed round the route back to the barn area and spotted the chickens and some geese. Not beware of the geese they did not like the kids. Not that i blame them sometimes even i struggle and I’m their mum. Seriously though moody gits haha honking away at them. Kids loved it though. The goats were hiding away in their hut.
Not the Alpacas though. Those adorable furry little ball bags looked like they couldn’t give 2 shits about the weather. Not surprised with those glorious mullets they had going on. All business at the front and party at the back. Elliot loved the sheep…….”look Elliot Alpaca”. Elliot “yeah big sheep mummy” i choose my battles. There’s also loads of Alpaca facts on boards which were actually really interesting.
Then the kids spotted the play park in the distant field so off we went leaving the alpacas somewhat pissed off that we hadn’t brought them food.
Now the play park…. hmmmmm I’m not going to slag it off but its not the best park I’ve seen with regards to health and safety. Today i didn’t care they aren’t saying they’re anything they’re not but its my job to warn you all to approach with caution. Just vet it yourself and make your own minds up.
I was happy for the kids to go on the frame with the swings and slides. They had a brilliant time especially drying the slides with their arses for the next kids. The tyres were a big hit with Elliot too.
I didn’t however let Elliot go over what i thought was a balance beam over a sand pit. Turned out it was a lose plank of wood with nails sticking out the side over an empty shallow grave (haha it wasn’t a grave I’m pissing with you) it was just a wee bit too “rustic” for my liking. It may very well be gone the next time we visit.
Views over the countryside
I’d like to take a moment to mention the views from around the whole farm. We could see for miles over the countryside and it wasn’t even a clear day so i can wait to visit again in the sun if we ever get it back.
Kids then found a small hill to roll down to really fuck up any chance of them staying even partly dry. It was lovely they had a great time. They always get to do the messier stuff if daddy’s not about…..they still prefer him though!
After we’d found all the carrots we headed back to collect the kids prize which was a full sized Easter egg of their choice. Pretty good prize…..i made the kids share though because I’m a tight arse (wish my real arse was actually tight)
Now that we had finished and collected our prize after another brief chat with more lovely staff it was was time to head off.
Then the bloody sun came out and the rain stopped!!! God hates me!
Limes Farm stats:
Distance from Bicester: 20mins
Sat nav: Main Rd, Farthinghoe NN13 5PB Click to load sat nav
Food quality: 8/10
Cleanliness: 10/10 Farm has actual poo but I’m not marking down for that
Overall experience: 10/10
Food hygiene rating 1-5 : 3 Satisfactory.
Child Friendly: Very much so!
Dog friendly: I think so (double check as unclear)
Limes Farm is simple but bloody good. It was such a nice surprise like going on a blind date and finding out the other person is hot.
The food was great, the staff were lovely, the kids liked it all with the added bonus of a run about afterwards with some animals thrown in for good measure.
Do i recommend? bloody hell yes its quirky without all the pretentious bollocks. I felt comfortable and i rocked up looking like i’d been dragged through a combine harvester and i didn’t feel judged.
We will be going back again for lunch in the future. Its rare to find a place where the kids are entertained enough for me to be able to enjoy food and drink while its still hot.
Have a look at their Facebook page as i find its easier to keep up to date with whats on HERE
If you’d like to check out another child friendly cafe then check out this review HERE