So it’s nearly Christmas, that time of the year when you’re trying to find the perfect gift that might entertain your kids longer than 5 mins. Giving you a bit of piece and quiet to polish off the gin without feeling guilty that it’s probably turning their brains to mush. Here you have the shittest toy, Penguin run.

You’ll see there are loads of Christmas gift guides out there at the moment advising you what all the best toys are. If you’ve got your heads screwed on you’ll know they’re probably a load of shit. Just another way to drag £100 out of you for a fluffy piece of crap that hatches out of an egg.

Anyway I’m not going to do that oh no I’m going to list the shittest toys out there. Starting with this little bastard!…..

Penguin run! Let me tell you right now. Do.not buy.this. for. your. children! You will 100% regret it! If you hate someone or want to get revenge then do buy this toy for their kids!

We got this hunk of shite from the works in town. I didn’t pick it. I’m not as stupid as the husbeast. I told him not to buy it but the twat showed Elliot and asked him if he wanted it!!! He’s 2 years old for God’s sake he’s going to say yes to a grenade that’s just had its pin taken out!

We only went for some stationary and now have ended up with a penguin run which cost £10!! They had it on display in the shop with no batteries! I wonder why! They know as soon as a parent hears that tune they’d put that fucker right back on the shelf! Well either that or the staff had heard it too many times they’d developed suicidal tendencies!

This wasn’t even a Christmas present. It was a present for him being ill all week. I was the one that had to look after him wheres my bloody present???

Got it home and then had to build it. Well i didn’t he bought the thing he can make it. If you are stupid enough to buy this don’t forget the batteries. We took them out of some other equally as annoying toy.

He finished building it then he turned it on. That’s when I realised just how bad of an idea this was. It was like in that episode of South park where they play that one note which makes everyone shit themselves. I’m not saying this toy with make spontaneously shit your pants but it will more than likely make you cry.

After 5 mins of the thing being on I was ready to rip my husbeast’s throat out! This is all his fault! If you’re going through a rough patch in your marriage this toy will end it. The last little push over the edge.

Then Clark gets home. Great now comes the arguments on top of the most annoying tune in the world.

Elliot had also decided that he’d much rather rip the flimsy ramps off and let the penguins climb to the top then plummet off the top of the cliff to their deaths below. I have a feeling that Elliots savings account will be spent on bail When hes older.

Not only is this toy a homewrecker, annoying and overpriced its also shit quality. It didn’t even last 24 hours in this house. Don’t say I didn’t warn you don’t look into the eyes of the cute little penguins they’ll fuck you up at the first opportunity. Save your money, relationships and your sanity and buy a cake instead!

If you really are insane you can buy Penguin Run here:

 

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